Happy New Year!

I hope everyone has had a wonderful holiday this year and wish everyone all the best in 2012.

I am unsure about whether or not I will continue to blog on here.  However, I will most likely continue to use my tumblr, so if you are interested in the girlier side of me, please feel free to follow me on tumblr, being a [bored] girl.

I have done a lot of thinking these past couple weeks as the year has come to an end and I must say that 2011 has been a year of growth and understanding of who I am.  If it weren’t for blogging, or my friends, or the experiences I have had, I would never be where I am today.  I am always thankful and grateful for all the things that have happened to me and I choose to live a life without regret.  Sometimes, I may feel like I regret something that I have done or not done in the past but I come to the conclusion that there is no point in regretting what you cannot change.  It is best to learn from those mistakes and move on.

I have always known to follow my instincts but I often fail to do so and end up wishing I had but in the end, I take it as a lesson to be learned.  Trust my instincts.  Eventually I’ll get it right.

I have learned many things in 2011 but most importantly for 2012, I believe my motto will be “alone does not have to be lonely”

And with that, I leave you all till next time whenever that may be.

Some places you can find me, where I will for sure be posting will be:

http://beingaboredgirl.tumblr.com

http://twitter.com/sarahfan

❤ I will continue to write but maybe not in such a public format.

Lots of love from me to you in 2012 ❤

A Lone Girl Blogs…

It feels like that’s what I should rename my blog.  I feel like I have changed a lot.  I have tried to do things differently.  I am no longer completely stuck in one spot and too lazy/unmotivated to do anything about it.  I am now actively trying to figure out how to get to where I want to go, which makes me feel like I am no longer that lazy bored girl that would write depressing posts for no one to read.

However, I won’t rename my blog.

I will however tell you that the reason I feel like I should rename my blog “A Lone Girl Blogs” is because of my birthday coming up in less than 2 months.

If you follow me on twitter or tumblr, you will know that I will be turning 25 next year and that I want to go away for my birthday.  When I am 25, I want to either go to Disney World or Vegas.  I don’t know why those two places in particular, well Disney World because I feel like 25 = grown up and all I want is to have a break from adulthood and be a kid again.  Also, if you follow me, you will know that I want to CHOOSE to be alone on my birthday.

You see, I have always had a feeling that I will be alone for my entire life.  I feel like next year I should learn to embrace it.  I have already learned to smile for myself and not others but I think it’s time for me to just accept that I will be alone.  I have tried and it’s gotten to a point where I don’t think my heart can take it anymore.  I never thought I had trust issues and always assumed it was commitment issues but it’s a little bit of both.  I don’t trust that anyone will ever be there for me, I feel like everyone I love will always leave me and that’s why I have always left before they could leave me.  This is why, next year I will learn to accept the fact that I am alone and I will be ok.

I feel like next year is going to be an important year for me.

Practicing Writing #1

I don’t know if you, my reader, has noticed but since I have revamped my blog, I have been trying to post a new post every other day.  Yesterday was the first day that I missed and normally I would apologize but today it made me realize that maybe posting every other day is too ambitious.  So, I am going to try to post at least every 2 or 3 days.  In a previous post, I had mentioned that I wanted to practice writing and what better way to start than today.  So, I’ve been trying to look for some writing exercises online and found a site that had a list of fifteen writing exercises.  The one I am going to attempt is to write a description of a place.  I’ve decided to try to describe to you guys my workplace without actually telling you what I do, where I work or what the machines are but I’m sure you can guess.

When I close my eyes for a second to try to catch my breath as I continue to work, I hear everything, all the machines running at full speed.  First, I hear the papers being snatched up and spat out in front of me.  The sharpness of the sound makes my hands feel dry as I imagine the warm paper being spewed out feeling dry and stale between my fingers.  Then in one corner, I hear the steady sounds of the gears turning and chomping away on a different machine.  In the other corner, I hear a low rumbling rolling sound of a few machines as they are turned on for use.  Occasionally, I’d hear a low squeak coming from one of the machines.  Behind me, I hear the phone ring but ignore it as I hear paper being rolled out and rolled back in.  The machine starts buzzing as the ink swishes back and forth on the paper making the paper feeling tacky till the ink dries.  Then I hear a machine beeping in the corner and I’m back to work.

I know I have a lot to improve but hope you enjoyed the post anyways.

❤ sarah

What do you want to be when you grow up?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Have you ever thought about what you said back when you were asked that question as a child?  “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

A few days ago, I asked my friend this question since I felt like he had lost interest in everything and was a little bit lost himself.  I remember when I first realized that I was lost and unsure about what I wanted to do with my life and such, I had asked myself this question.

My answer to this question as a child was that I wanted to be a writer.  I remember it started off with songwriting, then poetry, but always something to do with writing.  I don’t know why I wanted to be a writer as a child, maybe it’s because I loved to read but that was what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I stopped thinking that I could be a writer when I realized I wasn’t that good at writing.  I just didn’t feel like I wrote as well as other people.  I somehow just couldn’t express myself the way I wanted to and so I gave up my dream to become a writer.

I guess I never did give up completely because I always kept journals on and off all my life.  Writing was my outlet as was many other things but it helped me through a lot.  It was like a friend that was always there no matter what.  And it still is my friend that helps me through anything and everything that comes at me.

I started this blog before I had asked myself that question but while I had been blogging, I had asked myself this question.  I realized that in some way, I’m living out my childhood dream of being a writer by writing this blog.  But now, I really want to improve my writing and since I use to have a hard time updating this blog on a regular basis, I have decided to start writing stories or just random paragraphs here and there to practice.  My friends have always told me, my life could be a TV Show or Movie, maybe it’s time to try to write out my life story.

So, I would like to introduce the category of writing.  It will have random paragraphs, maybe some short stories, etc.  I hope you will enjoy them and I welcome any and ALL feedback.  I’m trying to improve here.

Now, I throw this question back to all my readers.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Please comment below and let me know what you had wanted to be when you grow up and what you are doing now.  It’ll be interesting to see if people kept to their childhood dream.

❤ sarah